Letting Go Of Results

August 6, 2018

     

 

     I’m beginning to see that my desires are some of the greatest hindrances in my life. My need to set goals and to see them accomplished seems, very often, to create anxiety instead of the motivation I assume would follow. It’s a strange and confusing situation but when I look closely enough and examine how I actually feel, I can see that it’s true. My desire for a thing is very often the reason why I don’t see it manifest. Maybe it’s because I allow my self-conscious thoughts to take control when the results don’t appear in a timely fashion. Maybe it’s because my need to succeed becomes stronger than my love for the activity itself. Whatever it is, the truth has revealed itself to me and it’s face isn’t one that I will easily forget. 

     My question now is, what do I do about this? Desire has been the driving force behind most of my life’s motivation and without it I wonder how I am supposed to function. How does one passionately engage in the activities of everyday life without being subverted by the all-consuming energy of want? Can the expression of creativity and the demands of practice be adequately attended to without invoking the ghosts of hunger and thirst? I like to believe that they can but if I am being honest with myself, I can see that even in the light of this recent understanding, I am still finding it extremely difficult to choose the right path...This isn’t to say I don’t have faith in my groping and stumbling about; it’s just that I also have to accept the many scrapes and bruises that will be sustained along the way. Right or wrong doesn’t seem to be the question here, its simply a matter of skillful of unskillful means. How we are to go about actualizing this effortless action is still something of a mystery to me but ill be sure to share my results when I finally let go of my need to have them

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